First Things First

I'm about to embark on my authentic life - the one I was meant to be living, the one I dreamed about as a child, the one that surfaces occasionally in daydreams when I am otherwise miserably making my way in the life I mistakenly conjured.

But I wanted to write about it here before I take another step in the right direction.

It's going to take a lot of hard work. A lot of baby steps, and a few steps backward. I'm more determined than ever to do it, though, because not doing what you love is just too costly - to one's health, to the psyche, to the soul.

So here's the life I want to be living within five years: I'll be self-employed. Writer, painter, and farmer of good things to eat and flowers that are good for the soul. (I hope that doesn't make me sound like a hippie.)

And if it's not asking for too much, I'd like to have a groom to saddle my horse for me whenever I want to go riding. His name will be Gerard.

The Outlaw Jesse James

From the beginning, I've observed with some curiosity the love affair between actress Sandra Bullock and motorcycle builder Jesse James. It seemed to me the classic bad boy/good girl combination, which is rarely a good idea. But I wished them luck.

Over the past five years of their marriage, Sandra has blossomed. I'd been thinking recently - especially while watching the film The Blind Side - that being in love has given Ms. Bullock an inner glow she didn't really have before. Add to that her recent box office successes, and she appeared to be on top of the world. We women are suckers for love; you only need to look at the popularity of romance novels to see this. And this woman was clearly in love.

But now, the rumor is out that Jesse James had an 11-month affair with this woman:

I can't know what went through the man's head when the alleged affair began, but I suspect it was something like this: I need to take a shit. I don't feel like shaving today. I'd like something to eat and a cold beer. I want to have sex with something - preferably a woman my wife, but she is off making a film and this tattooed chick seems to be more into me than Sandra does at the moment.

So here we have a hint about several things:

1. If you want to have a husband, a man might be a bad choice.
2. You should never place all of your happiness in the hands of another person (man or woman).
3. There's no accounting for taste.