Thursday, July 16, 2009

Expect the worst and get it.

I've been gone a while. I'm not even sure why, except that the internet holds little appeal for me right now. (No offense.)

I was experiencing those few, terrible days which occur after the full moon begins to wane, trying to reverse my bad mood by convincing myself that my brain chemistry and thought patterns were completely responsible. It didn't work. On Sunday I went to church, something I rarely do. When I left the house, my kitty was happily dashing about the yard. It occurred to me to put her back inside, but everyone deserves a little freedom, even cats.

It wasn't until later in the day while cleaning house that I realized I hadn't seen her since that morning. I went outside and called for her. No response. This was unusual, since she usually stays very close to the house. I knew that my sons had been in and out of the driveway in their trucks, and I had visions of my cat splattered all over an engine, or, alternatively, a bold coyote having snatched her up by the spine. It sure didn't take long to convince myself that she was gone forever. I decided to take a break to visit the pond, and by the time I got there, I was in tears. My husband asked what was wrong, and I told him I was sure my cat was gone forever. I said it figured, as bad as everything else had gone for me lately. Story of my life, just my luck, God hates me, why would I expect anything different than to get attached to something and have it die. Yep, 'bad luck' has been my training program for years.

So it was pretty humbling when I got home about an hour or so later, and my cat greeted me at the door. On the inside of the house. Apparently she'd found an excellent place to nap.

There is a chapter in Norman Vincent Peale's book The Power of Positive Thinking called "Expect the Best and Get it." I know it's a stretch, but I'm going to work on rethinking my thinking. Of course then I'll have to deal with the agony of dashed hopes all the time, but hell. It's worth a try. I can always go back to the way things were.

6 comments:

Marchelle said...

Oh good. I was fully expecting you to say the kitty was in the middle of the road, flat as a pancake.

I think a 3rd viewing of Public Enemies will get you out of your funk. I don't know. At least you get to stare at Johnny Depp for 2 hours!

Donna said...

Glad you decided to write! And SO glad Kitty made you smile again.
hughugs

jadedj said...

I know the blog burn thing. I do it too now and then...disappear, that is.

Cats are like that. They too disappear, and you think that just like some favorite bloggers, they are gone forever. But, as you see...

LERMONTOV said...

There is always liquor!

Dorrie said...

positive thinking is good, but not always easy.
I'm so glad your kitty is ok!!

wildstorm said...

I threw out my pyscho cat. She chose not to use her litter box. She left all together for about a week. She's back now, living on the back porch as if nothing ever happened.