Everyone's a Comedian

I don't mind telling you that an abscessed tooth makes for a crappy week.

On Thursday and Friday, I went to work with a swollen cheek. The first thing I said to my co-worker, Russ, when I arrived at work on Thursday was "I brought extra acorns for lunch if you want any," then pointed at my cheek.

My friend John said it looked like something alien was growing on the side of my face. "It's a fetus," I replied. Then on Friday, he said it seemed to be growing legs. "But not fast enough," I said. He suggested I sprinkle fertilizer on it.

I kept asking my co-workers if they had an ice skate I could use to extract my own tooth. Would you believe no one at FedEx has one?

And finally, Russ is one of the kindest and most gentle men I've ever known, which made the following comments even funnier to me. He suggested that I go home and ask my husband to punch the other side of my face to even things out. He said (in an aside to someone else), "They're just like a bad screen door. You have to slam 'em a few times to straighten 'em out."

I laughed, of course. Then hurt even more.