Tuesday, September 30, 2008

7 Weird and Frightening Random Facts About Me

1. I always mix my corn and mashed potatoes together, then douse it all with Lea & Perrin's Worchestershire Sauce. Don't knock it until you've tried it.

2. The sound of those plastic library book jackets makes me very happy. I'd like to have a coat made out of plastic library book jackets. And maybe a matching purse.

3. The only road rage I ever experience is a) when someone is tailgating me so closely that I can't see their headlights, and b) when I'm leaving the proper two car lengths in front of me on the interstate, and someone passes me on the right to fill that gap. Oh yes, I was saving that spot for you. Asshole! And look! You aren't getting there any faster than I am!!

4. Okay, I lied about number 3 being my only road rage. It seems odd to me that the people who do stupid things on the road are invariably talking on their cell phones.

5. I want to murder high fructose corn syrup and monosodium glutamate, and bury them in a shallow, unmarked grave in the woods. HFCS is obviously made from corn, and MSG is made from soybeans, and my husband grows corn and soybeans. So I'm really cutting my own throat by hating them, but they're really, really BAD for you. So if your body needs corn and soybeans, eat them raw.

6. I'm a Patriot and a lover of the Constitution, and I get really worked up about the state of our Country. Pretty sure it's going to cause me to have a stroke someday.

7. I've always wanted a buggy. Or to be Amish. But with electricity. And the internet.


Marchelle said...

I didn't know about the corn and mashed potatoes! Hhhhmmm..... I do like the cranberry sauce & dressing together, (my dad and brother do too) but other than that, my food can NOT touch.

Mixing and dousing with Worchestershire sauce is a different story though.... I'll have to try it!

willow said...

These were cute! And I'm not very frightened, unless, of course I am following you too closely in the car and you can't see my headlights.

MauritaMason said...

Marchelle, maybe just try Worchestershire on potatoes first. It's like a gateway drug.

willow, I do get a little irrational about it. But truly, I'm a lover, not a fighter.