Saturday, September 20, 2008

A year is a long time.

I've had a string of bad days. All the tiny things added up to a mountain that overwhelmed me yesterday, and I cried at work. I hate when I do that. But when I discussed my day last night with a glass of tequila, tequila helped me figure out that the root of all my anxiety is my son's impending deployment to Iraq. It happens in 16 days.

It's unlikely that I'll get to see him before he goes, and I haven't seen him since June. I haven't seen him much in the last four years, and he's only 22. So, basically, I've missed out on almost one-sixth of his life. Here comes another year, when he'll be on the other side of the world, in a not-so-nice place. And trust me, time goes by slowly when someone you love is at war.

I've often thought about the mothers who have sent their sons off to war. The ancient Roman mothers, the Greeks, every other mother throughout history - none of them knowing when or if their boys would come back.

At least I have the internet, instead of messenger pigeons.


Marchelle said...

I can't imagine how lonely and sad soldiers and their families felt before the internet. Days, weeks or months going by without hearing from each other. I know his safety still weighs on your mind the most, but at least you can "talk" to him pretty regularly (thanks to Al Gore, of course.) =P

willow said...

Your post tugged at my heart strings this morning. I have two young sons and I would certainly be wrenched if they were going off.

Yes! The bright side is the internet!! Thank you technology!! Hehe and Al Gore! ;^)

Arija said...

At least you will know in which direction to send your love and prayers. You'll know what country he is in. Just keep wishing that he is safe and keep the worry thoughts at bay. Commit his safety into a greater keeping. Morbid thoughts only create that which they fear.