I'm curled up on the sofa with my laptop, still in my pajamas. When I woke at 5 this morning, after having fallen asleep only four and a half hours before, I felt pretty sick and nauseated. It was enough to put me off even trying to go to work, so I went back to bed and slept until 8.
After a cup of coffee, I'm feeling a little better, but still have a weird, nagging headache that has made me undecided about going to work. If I'm feeling sick, that should be the end of the story, right? But I know that one day away will put me one day behind.
I was thinking earlier, my body all warm and cozy beneath this rich, chocolate microsuede blanket, that I wouldn't mind being a woman of leisure. Then I thought, I wonder how much work it would take to become one? which seemed sort of funny and ironic to me. Seriously, though...as attached as I am to some of the people I work with, I'm not really committed to the job itself, and it wouldn't bother me to leave it. So what would it take? Writing a novel or two? Learning to paint masterpieces in oil that people are scrambling to buy? Inventing a social networking site? A co-worker mentioned the other day that he was surprised to discover that his neighbor's son was the founder of the site formspring.com, and his neighbor had initially invested in it. Why can't something like that happen to me?
I would just like to feel I was doing something to make the world a better place. Something besides keeping airplanes from falling out of the sky. Don't get me wrong - I think airplanes not falling out of the sky is important - but I'm only indirectly holding them up there. With massive stacks of paper. Like a modern day Atlas who doesn't require any real strength.
6 comments:
I hope you don’t mean you want to end up like this unfortunate woman.
The funny thing is, to me, a Brit, ‘A woman of leisure’ means an aristocratic woman (or one who has married into an aristocratic family) who therefore has nothing to do all day, except perhaps take a secret lover, or play the piano (or possibly both). It doesn’t count if she’s actually done something productive herself.
Nevertheless, good luck with your ambition. It is a noble one.
Simon, the likeness is uncanny, except my sofa is a greenish color.
Surely even a British 'woman of leisure' has her charity work? Or she dabbles in watercolors or something. But I see what you mean.
My goal, however, is not to have my leisure given to me, but to earn it myself. Or at least to not have to work somewhere until I drop dead one day at the age of 85 over a stack of papers.
And please be kind and resist throwing in my face what I said in my last post about how much I value hard work. I'm kind of over that today.
You want to be like Mickey Dolenz's mum who invested Tipex. Now that was a great idea. Or you need to start hunting around for a richer husband!
I was thinking the same as Simon--Mary Wolstonecraft's "Vindication of the Rights of Women" came to mind--where she is bringing up all the inherent problems in this society of aristocratic "women of leisure" and says
"Nothing, I am sure, calls forth the faculties so much as the being obliged to struggle with the world"
Basically, she thinks they are all a bunch of useless ninnies.
Honestly, at this point, I dont think you could ever be a ninny, you've already worked long and hard ;)
your sons are making the world a better place..I do know that.
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