Friday, February 20, 2009

The Extent of My Practicality

Because of the current economy, I've been told precisely fifteen times in the last month to "buy only what is necessary." This would be pretty straightforward for most people, but I have something wrong with my brain. I may even have a mental illness.

Case in point: the first full year I had a job. I was only 19, single, and still living with my parents. But that doesn't excuse how I spent my $1000 Christmas bonus. Actually, I can't tell you how I spent all of it. But I remember buying my brother a Jackalope. I bought my oldest brother something equally useless and expensive, and snowshoes for my dad. (The snowshoes are mine now, just to stir up some jealousy among those in my family who read me.)

Not practical. At all.

On my lunch hour, I went to Dollar General to buy laundry soap. While there, I was forced to decide whether some disposable window cleaners were "necessary" or not. I really need to clean the inside of the windshield in the truck, so, practical = check. Having paper towels and Windex at home already = not necessary. So I didn't buy this $2 freaking item. I was kind of proud of myself. Then I went to McDonald's, which I hate, and spent only $3 for lunch. Very conflicting, since I know how unhealthy that kind of food makes me. But spending only $3 meant I could drive over to the bookstore and browse -- and maybe even buy a book since I saved so much money on lunch and not buying window cleaner.

You may be wondering, Dear Reader, if I was able to escape the clutches of Barnes and Noble unscathed. Of course not. As soon as I hit the entryway, a book caught my eye. The Knitting Directory. Have I ever mentioned that I don't know how to knit? That's why I needed the book. Have I mentioned that I don't have knitting needles? Have I mentioned that I don't have yarn? These are minor hurdles along my path to learning how to knit. I prefer to think of these stumbling blocks as opportunities - because now that I have a book about how to knit, it becomes necessary for me to have knitting needles and yarn.

Do you see how it works?

And how could I pass up a piece of literature like the one titled When the Duke Returns? Of course I want the Duke to return. Maybe he's coming back from Waterloo, having single-handedly defeated Napoleon. Maybe he went to America to escape a huge gambling debt, leaving a younger brother to clean up the mess he made of his entire Estate. It was simply necessary for me to know why the Duke is returning, and what will happen to him when he gets here. There.

But I promise I won't spend any more money. Today.


countrygirl005 said...

That sounds like me :) (and my mom) I debate forever about what I should and shouldn't buy and always have to give myself a reason why I made the right decision. Even if I know it's totally ridiculous.

Fijufic said...

Oh boy...

It is going to be even uglier in terms of money I can assure you.

This weekend is poised for big news on some major banks...

Sit on cash like a duck sits on an egg.

I've been squealing like a pig about this since September.

Ahhh, anyhow I'm feeling like the world is coming to an end. After 4 I'll be just fine.


becomingkate said...

I'm like Bobby - I'm not even buying shoes! But then as soon as I get a better paying job, look out, lol.

Marchelle said...

If it makes you feel any better, that Jackalope has partied like a rockstar at Purdue, and is now hanging on your nephew's bedroom wall, still donning his Mardi Gras beads and a lei or two. I'm sure he's seen more than either of us would like to know.

Anonymous said...

that jackalope freaks me out.

It's hard to decide what is necessary and what's not. I would have bought the's something you could keep in the truck and it would be easier to remember to keep the window clean. Unless you are going to keep paper towels and windex in the truck as a 'reminder'. lol


MauritaMason said...

Lindsay, you've convinced me. I'm going shopping tomorrow!