Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Quotes by Maurita

Quotes I would like to have attributed to me:

"Arguing with a New Yorker is like spitting into a hurricane."

"I've never been surprised by the similarity between the words marital and martial."

"Old people don't think stuff's funny."

Slips of the tongue that can fade away into oblivion:

Thirty minutes after telling a guy that I would like to kick his ass, I said, "You're just standing around waiting for an ass kissing, aren't you?"

Upon losing it when my kids refused to take no for an answer:
"From now on, when I say No, I MEAN YES!"

I'm sure there are more, because I'm quite brilliant, you know.

*eye roll*


countrygirl005 said...

LOL! Those are great! I LOVE your new background!

My dad has some great ones. I wish I had a book of all of them, but I can never remember them when I go to write them down. I don't know where he comes up with some of them. Most of them are sayings he's heard before, but one that he made up when we were watching an episode of The Big Valley was "She looks like she just put on a pair of barbed wire underwear" (because of the look on this woman's face)

I also have a few things that have slipped such as: "Are hyenas real?" and "Johnny Cash must have made that before he died" You know.. good ones like that. I will never live those two down because I am reminded of them any chance my family gets ;)

Marchelle said...

"Old people don't think stuff's funny."

So true. Why is that, I wonder?


I remember my Dad telling me (before I went up North) "michael, stay away from crocodile infested rivers" - thanks Captain Obvious!

theredhead said...

Something about The Geek turns me into Miss Malaprop.
BTW, the new profile pic is HAWT! Nice new format too.

MauritaMason said...

Rachel, I know - your dad can come up with some of the best stuff! His brilliant metaphors always surprise me.

Marchelle, I don't know! That's something I told CW once before we went to G&G's. He's not well known for self-censorship. Now we just say it about Jerry all the time.

Lerm, good one!

trh, Miss Malaprop - I think that could be one of my new aliases. And thanks for the compliments!