Thursday, February 12, 2009

Save Joaquin!! Or not...

Joaquin Phoenix appeared on David Letterman last night. Did you see it? Have you seen the clip? There are five possible explanations for this humorous/sad/painful interview:

a) Joaquin has gone completely batshit;
b) Joaquin is painfully shy and was forced to be on the show by his publicist;
c) Joaquin is on something bad;
d) Joaquin became possessed by the ghost of Johnny Cash during the filming of Walk the Line, thus opening a portal for other dead celebrities to enter his body, including Anna Nicole Smith and perhaps Kurt Cobain;
e) Joaquin is embracing his bad press and exploiting it.

I tend to believe the explanation is e, because the guy is just too brilliant for it to be anything else. What do you think?

23 comments:

Simon said...

I’m a generous man, and I’ll go for (b). With a possibility of a bit of (c).

A have to admit my knowledge of Joaquin is limited to his part in Gladiator, which probably showed a truer representation of his nature.

Steve said...

I think Joaquin (the Phoenix formerly known as Leaf) never expected to live longer than his dead brother, and now assumes he's playing with house money and doing whatever the hell he wants to his body.

Or, E. He wants to see what he can get away with before the casting calls stop.

greeneyes67 said...

I love your Johnny Cash explanation!! ROFLMAO!!!!

I was discussing this with a friend this morning. I think he's loaded. I think he got really messed up when he did the Johnny Cash role. It messed with his head big time. Just like Val Kilmer playing Jim Morrison. He has been weird ever since too. Actors are a strange breed... Just my opinion...

Urban Cynic said...

Oh christ that was sad; I heard he was quitting acting as he hated doing the interviews to promote the film & wasn't comfortable around strangers. I also read that he checked himself into rehab for alcoholism not too long ago.

I LOVE Joaquin Phoenix & it was horrible to see him like that - you could tell by the way he was wringing his hands that he felt really nervous & stressed. I think he's fighting some personal demons - I hope he sorts himself out.

Laura @ the shorehouse. said...

I love your theories, and I *really* want to believe (D). ;-)

I have to believe what I'm hearing...that it's all a hoax for a "mockumentary" that Casey Affleck is filming. Sort of a little Andy Kaufman-esque, yes? If that's not true...Joaquin has himself some serious problemos.

Steve said...

OK, with YouTube banned from work, I finally saw this, and I have to say...

Bat. Shit. Crazy.

Uncomfortable doing interviews? How about uncomfortable COMBING YOUR HAIR WHEN YOU GOT OUT OF BED THIS MORNING.

The fact he's doing hip hop has to be a joke.

He can always go start a band with Keanu Reeves, Russell Crowe, and whomever else is willing to play drums for that trainwreck of a band.

Marchelle said...

Bob & Tom were picking this apart this morning. I was uncomfortable just listening to it! Dave handled it perfectly though.

I am a big Joaquin fan, even before Walk the Line, and I agree with you that he is just too brilliant for this to be real...BUT, I think greeneyes67 might be on to something.

E is definitely likely. I've heard the Casey Affleck/documentary rumor too. I'm going with that. It just makes me feel better.

Oh, and I think he was completely loaded. LOL

LERMONTOV said...

f) he is running 240 Vlots worth of F*ckwittage. Serious tool - needs re-education in a labour camp - send him to Putin

MauritaMason said...

Simon, I really do suspect a bit of those, too. Your mention of his Gladiator role makes me wonder if he doesn't absorb some of each character he plays into his own personality.

Steve, good point. He has to remain affected by the death of River.

greeneyes, I suspect that too. Interestingly, I heard that Jack Nicholson wasn't surprised by Heath Ledger's death...apparently Jack warned him that the role of The Joker would mess with his head.

Miss M (do you mind me continuing to call you that?), thank you for being so compassionate. I noticed the wringing of the hands, too.

Laura, hadn't heard about the Casey Affleck project, but I knew they were good friends (and brothers-in-law?). Makes sense.

Steve again. Haha - I noticed the hair, too, which is odd - don't shows like this have make-up people who might have run a comb through it for him? And I would go see a band with Keanu, Russell and Joaquin, if only for the entertainment value.

Marchelle, yeah...Dave knows how to finesse an interview. I'm pretty sure I'd load up on tequila before going on camera with him, though. Just to have an excuse.

Lerm, you really are Russian, aren't you?!

Steve said...

Russell: Shut yer gob and sing the songs, you tosser!

Joaquin: Mumblemumblemumble is that a joke?

Keanu: Dudes....

Russell: Keanu, don't you get started too, mate, or I'll bury 30 odd foot of grunts up yer arse.

Keanu: Dude...

Joaquin: Mumblemumblemumble

Jared Leto: I gave up acting for this?

Russell: (throws phone at Jared Leto, killing him)

Keanu: DUDE!

Joaquin: MUMBLE!

Russell: (storms out of studio, beats producer to death with sound board)

MauritaMason said...

SEE?! Entertainment.

MauritaMason said...

By the way - my favorite South Park episode is the one where Russell Crowe is "foightin' 'round the woold."

Anonymous said...

waited too long and your link the video has been removed due to copyright. :o LB

MauritaMason said...

There. I changed it to the official CBS clip. I hope.

TheLubeFaerie said...

All of the above~

Steve said...

I just realized, Jack Black could've been in that band. Surely there's a drummer that would qualify? Are there any celebrities who pretend to be drummers? Or is Don Henley the only one?

MauritaMason said...

Gary Busey plays drums...

Steve said...

Ding ding ding, we have a winner. I should write an entire "session" with those guys.

I just remembered, Keanu plays bass (I thought he was guitar), so that rounds out the band pretty well.

wildstorm said...

I'm still recovering from the clip on DL. I really don't know what to say about it all.

MauritaMason said...

Steve, you should definitely write it!

wildstorm, it does have an odd effect on a person, doesn't it?

and Lubie, I agree.

jadedj said...

It was embarrassing. I'm with LubeFaerie.

There may be an "f". Joaquin says this about himself: "My significant other right now is myself, which is what happens when you suffer from multiple personality disorder and self-obsession."

coffeerama said...

interestingly, Joaquin Phoenix's appearance on Letterman looked a lot like his acting on Walk the Line, when he (Johnny Cash) was scraping bottom

MauritaMason said...

j, to be fair, he seems to be describing film actors in that statement.

coffeerama, excellent observation. Could it be that he is, as Kate Winslet said, 'the greatest actor of his time'?